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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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Girls are like abstract painting even though you can't understand them, they are still beautiful

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Girls are like abstract painting even though you can't understand them, they are still beautiful

Even something really beautiful can be broken sometimes.

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Even something really beautiful can be broken sometimes.

Being respected by guys is more important than being beautiful in their eyes.

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Being respected by guys is more important than being beautiful in their eyes.

Simple is beautiful

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Simple is beautiful

Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

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Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about

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Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about

A pretty face will always grow old. A nice body will always change with age....

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A pretty face will always grow old. A nice body will always change with age....

Sex is a beautiful thing. It's just certain people use it wrong.

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Sex is a beautiful thing. It's just certain people use it wrong.

Every woman is beautiful. It just takes the right man to see it.

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Every woman is beautiful. It just takes the right man to see it.

Talking less it is a woman's adornment

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Talking less it is a woman's adornment

When you're down Friends say: "If you need me, give me a call". Best friends...

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When you're down Friends say:

I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

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I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot