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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be...

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Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be...

Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

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Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget...

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget...

A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

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A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

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When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

Joy, you have to start drinking again. Like life, you are very hard to take...

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Joy, you have to start drinking again. Like life, you are very hard to take...

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

It's useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love,...

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It's useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love,...

Strangers think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm out-going. My bestfriends know that I'm completely...

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Strangers think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm out-going. My bestfriends know that I'm completely...

What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

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If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered? House: Scent of a man. I realize...

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Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered? House: Scent of a man. I realize...

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

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Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

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Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

I am too positive to be doubtful too optimistic to be fearful and too determined...

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I am too positive to be doubtful too optimistic to be fearful and too determined...

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.