When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs...

Quote by Robert Paul

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me...

Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a...

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.

Love is the heart of the soul.

Love is the heart of the soul.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember...

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

You know it's going to be a long day when you yell 'Seriously?!?' at your...

You know it's going to be a long day when you yell 'Seriously?!?' at your...

Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to...

Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

What Youth deemed crystal, Age finds out was dew.

What Youth deemed crystal, Age finds out was dew.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least...

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least...