Quotes by Tommy Cooper

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the...

#Tommy Cooper

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

#Tommy Cooper

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.

#Tommy Cooper

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage...

#Tommy Cooper

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you...

#Tommy Cooper

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

#Dogs, #Funny

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

#Music, #Painting

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

#Funny, #Life

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the...

#Funny, #Sleep