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I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous...

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous...

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a...

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a...

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and...

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and...

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very...

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very...

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a...

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a...

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly....

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly....

I'm basically always on tour.

I'm basically always on tour.

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road...

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road...

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.