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America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one...

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one...

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

He neither drank, smoked, nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally, saving his money, he died...

He neither drank, smoked, nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally, saving his money, he died...

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Paper napkins never return from a laundry - nor love from a trip to the...

Paper napkins never return from a laundry - nor love from a trip to the...

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

,

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks...

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most...

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Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most...

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little...

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing...

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing...

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives...

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives...

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of...

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of...

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me...

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me...

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone;...

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone;...