Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: History Quotes

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Don't talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart...

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the...

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call...

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For...

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your...

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the...

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.