Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Funny Quotes

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Religion is just mind control

Religion is just mind control

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

The elephant has a thick skin, a head full of ivory, and as everyone who...

The elephant has a thick skin, a head full of ivory, and as everyone who...

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many different ailments,...

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many different ailments,...

And when human rights are being thrown aside, ignored, well, there's no game in progress,...

And when human rights are being thrown aside, ignored, well, there's no game in progress,...

More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single...

More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single...

We can only reason from what is; we can reason on actualities, but not on...

We can only reason from what is; we can reason on actualities, but not on...