When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

Quote by Matt Groening

Topics: Funny Quotes, Grammar Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've...

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've...

I've loved science fiction ever since I was a little kid, mainly from looking at...

I've loved science fiction ever since I was a little kid, mainly from looking at...

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising...

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising...

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun

Dear best friend, I thought you should know that I miss you and all the...

Dear best friend, I thought you should know that I miss you and all the...

Let our friends perish, provided our enemies fall along with them.

Let our friends perish, provided our enemies fall along with them.

I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt...

I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt...

The death of a dear friend, wife, brother, lover, which seemed nothing but privation, somewhat...

The death of a dear friend, wife, brother, lover, which seemed nothing but privation, somewhat...

Friendship is but a name; fidelity but an empty name.

Friendship is but a name; fidelity but an empty name.

Silly me for thinking honesty and friendship were important these days. The new trend is...

Silly me for thinking honesty and friendship were important these days. The new trend is...

A friendship that can cease has never been real.

A friendship that can cease has never been real.

Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings.

Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings.

If all men knew what each said of the other, there would not be four...

If all men knew what each said of the other, there would not be four...

I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end......

I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end......

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past,...

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past,...

It really hurts that we are not friends anymore. We walk pass each other in...

It really hurts that we are not friends anymore. We walk pass each other in...

The courts of kings are full of men, empty of friends.

The courts of kings are full of men, empty of friends.