The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Quote by Henry Youngman

Topics: Funny Quotes, Marriage Quotes

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I...

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I...

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Jealousy is the grave of affection

Jealousy is the grave of affection

I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be...

I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be...

Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very fast.

Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very fast.

I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning, and...

I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning, and...

Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news,...

Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news,...

Women are not pals enough with men, so we must make ourselves indispensable. After all,...

Women are not pals enough with men, so we must make ourselves indispensable. After all,...