I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

Quote by Henry Youngman

Topics: Money Quotes

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds...

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I...

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I...

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I...

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

If I were starting life over again, I am inclined to think that I would...

If I were starting life over again, I am inclined to think that I would...

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

A girl is happiest when she knows you make her your everything. In front of...

A girl is happiest when she knows you make her your everything. In front of...

Smoke, rain, and a scolding wife, are three bad things in a house

Smoke, rain, and a scolding wife, are three bad things in a house

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you...

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you...

Agriculture for an honorable and highminded man, is the best of all occupations or arts...

Agriculture for an honorable and highminded man, is the best of all occupations or arts...

Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their...

Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their...

What does one woman see in another than a man cannot see? Tenderness

What does one woman see in another than a man cannot see? Tenderness