That awkward moment when you cant find your phone because your bed ate it.
Shit Happens Quotes
Just because nobody complains doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect.
Locking your car again because you can't remember if you heard the horn beep the...
You can plan a pretty picnic but you cant predict the weather.
Texting someone while you're half asleep then reading your text in the morning and realizing...
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
Driving to work playing the 'Let's see how long I can drive with my gas...
That mini heart attack when you send a text to the wrong person.
The awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson.
That awkward moment when you realize you've kept talking even after your call dropped out...
My car only heats up enough about 30 seconds before I reach my destination.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and...
I hate when I can't remember if I am drying off my face with the...
That moment of embarrassment when you wave at someone but they don't wave back.
I always look behind the shower curtain before I go pee...you know, incase there is...
In life you need one thing to survive: The ability to realize shit happens. You...
That awkward moment when you throw something at your friend and it hits somebody else.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Have you seen my Kung fu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awsome!
The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the...
Hey Millionaires: If you don't have trampoline floors and a giant slide that goes from...