Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything When is a house a house? Just chill-out will you? If Im out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if Im in…

Quote by Eddie Izzard

Topics: Humor Quotes

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain...

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. Thats Renaissance, FRENCH for re-birth. Re-nais-sance....

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So my choice is 'Or Death?

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then...

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, Oh, my God! What...

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of...

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught...

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning!...

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the...

I can resist everything except temptation.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Our scientific age demands that we provide definitions, measurements, and statistics in order to be...

Our scientific age demands that we provide definitions, measurements, and statistics in order to be...

Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll...

Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll...