I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Quote by Spike Milligan

Topics: Spike Milligan Quotes

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and...

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why...

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Beware of people who dislike cats.

Beware of people who dislike cats.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.