Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...