Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

Drugs scared me.

Drugs scared me.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

You write about what you know.

You write about what you know.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...