Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't...

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want,...

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I...

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...