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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network...

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm a walking, talking enigma.

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

You write about what you know.

You write about what you know.