I am about to go Tebow on my Monday.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Monday Quotes

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving...

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is...

I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is...

A widow of doubtful age will marry almost any sort of a white man.

A widow of doubtful age will marry almost any sort of a white man.

The best time to make friends is before you need them.

The best time to make friends is before you need them.

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a...

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a...

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we...

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we...

Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.

Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

Old age is a shipwreck.

Old age is a shipwreck.

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that...

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that...

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for...

Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for...

Popular culture is the new Babylon, into which so much art and intellect now flow....

Popular culture is the new Babylon, into which so much art and intellect now flow....

When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are...

When entering into a marriage one ought to ask oneself: do you believe you are...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is...

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is...

Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?

Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.

Ive come to the conclusion that Mondays last 50% longer than the other days...each.