There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it.

Quote by Irena Chalmers

Topics: Baby Quotes, Funny Quotes

Like a midwife, I make my living bringing new babies into the world, except that...

Like a midwife, I make my living bringing new babies into the world, except that...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have...

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have...

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good...

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good...

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

Age merely shows what children we remain.

Age merely shows what children we remain.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a...

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

Popular culture is the new Babylon, into which so much art and intellect now flow....

Popular culture is the new Babylon, into which so much art and intellect now flow....

Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

There are three things most men love but never understand: females, girls and women.

There are three things most men love but never understand: females, girls and women.

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read...

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read...

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...