There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it.

Quote by Irena Chalmers

Topics: Baby Quotes, Funny Quotes

Like a midwife, I make my living bringing new babies into the world, except that...

Like a midwife, I make my living bringing new babies into the world, except that...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape...

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have...

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have...

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

For in all the world there are no people so piteous and forlorn as those...

For in all the world there are no people so piteous and forlorn as those...

There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his...

There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his...

Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty one is a menace...

Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty one is a menace...

Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy &...

Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy &...

Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is...

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is...

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper...

I was allowed to ring the bell for five minutes until everyone was in assembly....

I was allowed to ring the bell for five minutes until everyone was in assembly....

She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

In childhood be modest, in youth temperate, in adulthood just, and in old age prudent.

In childhood be modest, in youth temperate, in adulthood just, and in old age prudent.