It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Monday Quotes

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting...

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting...

Age after age, the strong have trampled upon the weak; the crafty and heartless have...

Age after age, the strong have trampled upon the weak; the crafty and heartless have...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going...

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Old age has the last word: the purely naturalistic look at life, however enthusiastically it...

Old age has the last word: the purely naturalistic look at life, however enthusiastically it...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: Hello,...

It is old age, rather than death, that is to be contrasted with life. Old...

It is old age, rather than death, that is to be contrasted with life. Old...

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

Where children are, there is the golden age.

Where children are, there is the golden age.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Study is the bane of childhood, the oil of youth, the indulgence of adulthood, and...

Study is the bane of childhood, the oil of youth, the indulgence of adulthood, and...

A bad manner spoils everything, even reason and justice; a good one supplies everything, gilds...

A bad manner spoils everything, even reason and justice; a good one supplies everything, gilds...

Ours is the age of substitutes: instead of language, we have jargon: instead of principles,...

Ours is the age of substitutes: instead of language, we have jargon: instead of principles,...

You know that you know the true meaning of sacrificial brotherly love when you let...

You know that you know the true meaning of sacrificial brotherly love when you let...

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems,...

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems,...

They should make Mondays illegal.

They should make Mondays illegal.