I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

Quote by Patrick Dennis

Topics: Dirty Quotes, Funny Quotes

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.

I see L.A. as a beautiful blonde with dirty underwear.

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

Im a musician first, a food-lover second, a dirty mouth with feet, and a girl...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Its hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when...

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done,...

In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done,...

Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.

Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.

Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing

Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose...

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose...

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the...

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

You're fooling yourself if you argue with a fool - others may not know the...

A major advantage of age is learning to accept people without passing judgment.

A major advantage of age is learning to accept people without passing judgment.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...