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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to...

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks....

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time;...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is...

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

Just put down 9-11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in...

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a...

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off...

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found...

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.