If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it...

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it...

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

Successful people make money. It's not that people who make money become successful, but that...

Successful people make money. It's not that people who make money become successful, but that...