If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Crime Quotes

Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and...

Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and...

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the familiy parrotto the town gossip.

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the familiy parrotto the town gossip.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only...

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only...

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country...

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country...

Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season...

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season...

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you...

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap...

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap...

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session.

I never lack material for my humor column when Congress is in session.

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is...

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is...

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you...

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you...

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on...

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on...

And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into...

And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into...

You don't decide to build a church because you have money in the bank. You...

You don't decide to build a church because you have money in the bank. You...