If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
Quote by Will Rogers
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't...
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be...
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...
It's a fine motion picture up to the point where God finishes and the script...
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and...
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association...
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us...
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got...
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's...