When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Will Rogers Quotes

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other,...

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other,...

I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based...

I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based...

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be...

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be...

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both...

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both...

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give...

I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give...

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way...

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way...

Youve got to go out on a limb sometimes, because thats where the fruit is.

Youve got to go out on a limb sometimes, because thats where the fruit is.

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't...

I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't...

People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip

So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.