Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.

Quote by Will Rogers

Topics: Chicago Quotes

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money.

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there...

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there...

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't...

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't...

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is...

If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is...

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till...

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till...

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has....

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has....

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both...

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both...

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town...

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi...

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only...

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only...

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got...

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got...

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that...

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact...

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact...

People don't want to see me having sex... I'm the queen of the 'kiss, foreplay,...

People don't want to see me having sex... I'm the queen of the 'kiss, foreplay,...