Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
Quote by Will Rogers
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.
Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there...
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to...
Never miss a chance to shut up
I don't know what humor is. Anything that's funny -- tragedy or anything, it don't...
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
I tell you, all politics is apple sauce.
We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap...
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if...
Politics ain't worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny...
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em...
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...
Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...