I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and...

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and...

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.