Quotes by Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

#Funny

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

#Funny

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy...

#Success

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

#History

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

#Hollywood

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

#Laughter

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...

#Law And Lawyers, #Learning

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

#Fred Allen

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

#Fred Allen

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

#Fred Allen

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

#Fred Allen

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

#Fred Allen