You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just...

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what...

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the...

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.