I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them...

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them...