I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known,...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and...

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them...

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them...

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if...

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if...

Vini, Vici, Vidi (I came, I saw, I conquered). - Julius Caesar

Vini, Vici, Vidi (I came, I saw, I conquered). - Julius Caesar

Cheating on someone who loves you is like sneaking a Happy Meal into Olive Garden....

Cheating on someone who loves you is like sneaking a Happy Meal into Olive Garden....