I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

Television is a triumph of equipment over people and the minds that control it are...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian...

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the...

Only the fact that people have written about the reissue have I realized that it...

Only the fact that people have written about the reissue have I realized that it...

I write scripts to serve as skeletons awaiting the flesh and sinew of images.

I write scripts to serve as skeletons awaiting the flesh and sinew of images.