I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Fred Allen Quotes

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy...

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy...

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too...

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes....

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes....

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.