I'm going to go out a winner if I have to find a high school race to win my last race.
Quote by Johnny Gray
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...
How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts...
The tassel's worth the hassle!
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...
Whatever good there is in small boys is usually based upon their admiration for girls...
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old...
How young can you die of old age?
The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Procastinator? No. I just wait until the last second to do my work because I...
You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Mosquitos remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as...
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm...
To win means nothing without the will to prepare.