Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Quote by Chevy Chase

Topics: Funny Quotes

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having...

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having...

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure...

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure...

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it...

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it...

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons...

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons...

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make...

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make...

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I...

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I...

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a...

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a...

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just...

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just...

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if...

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if...

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if...

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if...

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a...

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a...