Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Quote by Chevy Chase

Topics: Funny Quotes

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House....

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House....

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons...

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons...

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a...

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a...

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it...

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it...

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a...

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a...

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying....

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying....

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if...

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if...

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so...

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so...

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just...

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just...

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an...

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an...

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make...

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make...

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having...

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having...

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if...

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if...