Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Quote by Chevy Chase

Topics: Funny Quotes

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if...

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if...

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure...

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure...

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having...

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having...

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend...

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend...

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons...

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons...

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a...

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a...

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just...

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just...

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if...

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if...

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an...

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an...

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I...

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I...

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it...

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it...

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a...

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a...

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.