I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height…

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to...

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.