If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for...

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I'm very casual about...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that...

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the...

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that...