A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first.

Quote by Oscar Levant

Topics: Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us...

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us...

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it...

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it...

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself. He can...

A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself. He can...

We are motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is...

We are motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is...

When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, hey!...

When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, hey!...