I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.

Quote by Oscar Levant

Topics: Drink Quotes, Funny Quotes

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it...

A pun is the lowest form of humor - when you don't think of it...

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends,...they are the ones that...

I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddam friends,...they are the ones that...

So little time, so little to do

So little time, so little to do

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

The power of a book lies in its power to turn a solitary act into...

The power of a book lies in its power to turn a solitary act into...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught...