When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

Quote by Oscar Levant

Topics: Books Quotes, Funny Quotes

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the...

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to...

I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

So little time and so little to do.

So little time and so little to do.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.