We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Picture Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Funny people Picture Quotes, Love Picture Quotes, Marriage Picture Quotes, Successful Marriage Picture Quotes

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

— view —

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

— view —

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

— view —

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

— view —

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

— view —

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

— view —

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

— view —

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

— view —

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

— view —

I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

— view —

Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

— view —

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read...

— view —

Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read...

They know me in a way no one ever has. They open me to things...

— view —

They know me in a way no one ever has. They open me to things...

Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears...

— view —

Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears...

Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

— view —

Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a...

— view —

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

— view —

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men

— view —

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men

I realised that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife.

— view —

I realised that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife.

You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book...

— view —

You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book...

Girls who love football are not weird. They're a rare gift from God. Those girls...

— view —

Girls who love football are not weird. They're a rare gift from God. Those girls...

Haters only hate the things they can't get and the people they can't be.

— view —

Haters only hate the things they can't get and the people they can't be.