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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

Family is not about blood. It's about who is willing to hold your hand when...

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Family is not about blood. It's about who is willing to hold your hand when...

Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also...

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Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also...

Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are...

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Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

Your parents may not be perfect but they are the most precious gift god has...

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Your parents may not be perfect but they are the most precious gift god has...

Born out of wedlock. Put up for adoption at birth. Dropped out of college. Then...

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Born out of wedlock. Put up for adoption at birth. Dropped out of college. Then...

Being a mother is the highest paid job in the world, since the payment is...

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Being a mother is the highest paid job in the world, since the payment is...

The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in...

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The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in...

In this house.. We are real; We make mistakes; We say I'm sorry; We give...

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In this house.. We are real; We make mistakes; We say I'm sorry; We give...

Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

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Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in...

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What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in...

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I...

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I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I...

I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

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I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...