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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

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Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

People creep into childhood, bound into youth, sober in adulthood, and soften into old age.

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People creep into childhood, bound into youth, sober in adulthood, and soften into old age.

To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid

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To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid

Love is no respecter of age or practicality Neither morality: unabashed She enters where she...

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Love is no respecter of age or practicality Neither morality: unabashed She enters where she...

No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally...

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No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally...

Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you...

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Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you...

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from...

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Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from...

We grow gray in our spirit long before we grow gray in our hair

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We grow gray in our spirit long before we grow gray in our hair

Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul

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Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul

Be equal to your talent, not your age. At times let the gap between them...

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Be equal to your talent, not your age. At times let the gap between them...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

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Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

All I want for Christmas is Money.

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All I want for Christmas is Money.

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

Are we not like two volumes of one book. Will you be my Valentine?

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Are we not like two volumes of one book. Will you be my Valentine?