When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed up

Picture Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed up

Topics: Family Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

As a single parent who is dating, make your child your priority. Make this known...

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As a single parent who is dating, make your child your priority. Make this known...

Strong enough to bear the children. Then get back to business.

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Strong enough to bear the children. Then get back to business.

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to...

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A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to...

I realised that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife.

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I realised that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife.

I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

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I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

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Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

Children may close their ears to advice, but they keep their eyes open to an...

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Children may close their ears to advice, but they keep their eyes open to an...

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

Strong-willed children become adults who can change the world as long as we can hang...

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Strong-willed children become adults who can change the world as long as we can hang...

Once you accept that your child will be different, not better or worse, just different,...

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Once you accept that your child will be different, not better or worse, just different,...

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a...

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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a...

Let's try teaching children how to think instead of what to think.

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Let's try teaching children how to think instead of what to think.

Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you...

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Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you...

Someone loves everything you hate about yourself

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Someone loves everything you hate about yourself