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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

The toughest part of letting go is realizing that the other person already did

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The toughest part of letting go is realizing that the other person already did

Let me ask you something, do you have, like, an alarm in your head that...

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Let me ask you something, do you have, like, an alarm in your head that...

We cannot bear connection. That is our malady. We must break away and be isolate....

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We cannot bear connection. That is our malady. We must break away and be isolate....

When you're about to say Goodbye, think twice, look back and remember how hard it...

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When you're about to say Goodbye, think twice, look back and remember how hard it...

Too young, too dumb to realize That I should've bought you flowers And held your...

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Too young, too dumb to realize That I should've bought you flowers And held your...

And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be....

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And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be....

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of...

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Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of...

We should love not fall in love because everything that falls gets broken

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We should love not fall in love because everything that falls gets broken

Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied:...

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Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied:...

Is this seat empty? Yes and this one will be too if you sit down....

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Is this seat empty? Yes and this one will be too if you sit down....

You will never find the right person if you never let go of the wrong...

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You will never find the right person if you never let go of the wrong...

Some people are meant to fall in love with each other...but not meant to be...

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Some people are meant to fall in love with each other...but not meant to be...

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

Physics is like sex sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why...

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Physics is like sex sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why...

Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

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Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...