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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

What can you do to promote world peace. Go home and love your family

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What can you do to promote world peace. Go home and love your family

When you look at your life the greatest happiness are family happinesses.

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When you look at your life the greatest happiness are family happinesses.

Family is not about blood. It's about who is willing to hold your hand when...

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Family is not about blood. It's about who is willing to hold your hand when...

Ask not what your mother can do for you. Ask what you can do for...

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Ask not what your mother can do for you. Ask what you can do for...

Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also...

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Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also...

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

Family is not about blood. It's about who is willing to hold your hand when...

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Family is not about blood. It's about who is willing to hold your hand when...

No family is perfect.. we argue, we fight. We even stop talking to each other...

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No family is perfect.. we argue, we fight. We even stop talking to each other...

Any man can be a father but it takes a special person to be a...

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Any man can be a father but it takes a special person to be a...

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

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The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in...

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The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in...

A man should never neglect his family for business.

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A man should never neglect his family for business.

No one will win the battle of the sexe, there is too much flirting with...

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No one will win the battle of the sexe, there is too much flirting with...