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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

Too young, too dumb to realize That I should've bought you flowers And held your...

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Too young, too dumb to realize That I should've bought you flowers And held your...

We should love not fall in love because everything that falls gets broken

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We should love not fall in love because everything that falls gets broken

Don't you hate that? Like bad guys, you're like I just want to get over...

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Don't you hate that? Like bad guys, you're like I just want to get over...

Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person...

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Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person...

I gave my best it wasn't enough You came and said we argue too much...

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I gave my best it wasn't enough You came and said we argue too much...

If another girl ever steals your man there's no better revenge than letting her keep...

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If another girl ever steals your man there's no better revenge than letting her keep...

Love one another, but make not a bond of love, let it rather be a...

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Love one another, but make not a bond of love, let it rather be a...

A relationship that started with a lie will end with one.

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A relationship that started with a lie will end with one.

There are stories of couples who never fight or argue and then suddenly to everyone's...

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There are stories of couples who never fight or argue and then suddenly to everyone's...

The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.

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The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.

You treat me like an option so I left you like a choice

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You treat me like an option so I left you like a choice

If you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody well you'll always find...

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If you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody well you'll always find...

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do...

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The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do...

You are someone's reason to smile

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You are someone's reason to smile
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