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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

Family isnt always blood. Its the people in your life who want you in theirs,...

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Family isnt always blood. Its the people in your life who want you in theirs,...

When you look at your life the greatest happiness are family happinesses.

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When you look at your life the greatest happiness are family happinesses.

No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother's love

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No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother's love

Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

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Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in...

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The mildest, drowsiest sister has been known to turn tiger if her sibling is in...

Born out of wedlock. Put up for adoption at birth. Dropped out of college. Then...

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Born out of wedlock. Put up for adoption at birth. Dropped out of college. Then...

When I was little "I'm gonna tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever

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When I was little

Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are...

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Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are...

Any man can be a father but it takes a special person to be a...

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Any man can be a father but it takes a special person to be a...

Ask not what your mother can do for you. Ask what you can do for...

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Ask not what your mother can do for you. Ask what you can do for...

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo what you want is...

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Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo what you want is...

If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

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If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion.

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

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Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.
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