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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

Some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Some are just passing through...

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Some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Some are just passing through...

You treat me like an option so I left you like a choice

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You treat me like an option so I left you like a choice

If he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC

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If he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC

Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over...

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Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over...

You don't want to live your life and then meet someone. You want to share...

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You don't want to live your life and then meet someone. You want to share...

If you left me without a reason do not come back with an excuse

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If you left me without a reason do not come back with an excuse

And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be....

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And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be....

All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You...

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All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You...

You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she...

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You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she...

You can't lose what you never had you can't keep what's not yours and you...

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You can't lose what you never had you can't keep what's not yours and you...

If another girl ever steals your man there's no better revenge than letting her keep...

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If another girl ever steals your man there's no better revenge than letting her keep...

You touched my heart you touched my soul.You changed my life and all my goals....

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You touched my heart you touched my soul.You changed my life and all my goals....

I love my computer because my friends live in it

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I love my computer because my friends live in it

Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.

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Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.

Let's always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of...

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Let's always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of...