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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

They know me in a way no one ever has. They open me to things...

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They know me in a way no one ever has. They open me to things...

When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

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When a woman is twenty, a child deforms her; when she is thirty, he preserves...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

Children may close their ears to advice, but they keep their eyes open to an...

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Children may close their ears to advice, but they keep their eyes open to an...

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want...

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If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want...

Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

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Let your children develop their own damn opinions.

Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears...

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Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears...

I realised that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife.

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I realised that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife.

You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book...

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You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book...

I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

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I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of...

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Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of...

Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

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Daddy please stop yellin I can't stand the sound Make mama stop cryin cuz I...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

I love you in a really, really big..pretend to like your taste in music let...

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I love you in a really, really big..pretend to like your taste in music let...