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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from...

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Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from...

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.

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Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.

No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally...

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No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally...

To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid

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To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid

Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

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Youth can not know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to loving someone.

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Age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to loving someone.

Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul

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Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul

In the age of information ignorance is a choice.

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In the age of information ignorance is a choice.

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

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Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

People creep into childhood, bound into youth, sober in adulthood, and soften into old age.

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People creep into childhood, bound into youth, sober in adulthood, and soften into old age.

Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you...

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Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you...

How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

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How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to...

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be...

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I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be...