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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe." "If you were my wife I'd...

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If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe.

You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she...

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You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she...

All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You...

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All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You...

I gave my best it wasn't enough You came and said we argue too much...

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I gave my best it wasn't enough You came and said we argue too much...

Love one another, but make not a bond of love, let it rather be a...

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Love one another, but make not a bond of love, let it rather be a...

Don't you hate that? Like bad guys, you're like I just want to get over...

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Don't you hate that? Like bad guys, you're like I just want to get over...

You don't want to live your life and then meet someone. You want to share...

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You don't want to live your life and then meet someone. You want to share...

I will always be there when I need you

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I will always be there when I need you

Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied:...

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Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied:...

The heart was made to be broken

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The heart was made to be broken

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected

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The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected

Excuse me first love, but we're through I need to taste a kiss from someone...

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Excuse me first love, but we're through I need to taste a kiss from someone...

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

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I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...