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You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it,...

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You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it,...

May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

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May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

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I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

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New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

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Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start...

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Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start...

An old man: You're Dr. House, aren't you? House: Oh God, don´t tell we used...

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An old man: You're Dr. House, aren't you? House: Oh God, don´t tell we used...

Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

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Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

The paradox of our time in history We have bigger houses and smaller families; more...

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The paradox of our time in history We have bigger houses and smaller families; more...

I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

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I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

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If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

Girls who love football are not weird. They're a rare gift from God. Those girls...

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Girls who love football are not weird. They're a rare gift from God. Those girls...

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

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Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

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Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

A wife says to her husband "I want you to whisper dirty things in my...

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A wife says to her husband

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays...

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An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays...

Most people don't have the guts to admit they'd rather be pretty than healthy. Income's...

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Most people don't have the guts to admit they'd rather be pretty than healthy. Income's...

If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule...

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If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule...

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary...

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When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary...