I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Picture Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Topics: Children Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Hate Picture Quotes

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

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My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

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Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends...

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Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends...

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

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You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

House: No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece...

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House: No, I hired you because you look good; it's like having a nice piece...

Patience is the ability to let your light shine on those you love, even after...

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Patience is the ability to let your light shine on those you love, even after...

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the...

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More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the...