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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We're doing...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

I left because you never asked me to stay

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I left because you never asked me to stay

I gave my best it wasn't enough You came and said we argue too much...

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I gave my best it wasn't enough You came and said we argue too much...

There are stories of couples who never fight or argue and then suddenly to everyone's...

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There are stories of couples who never fight or argue and then suddenly to everyone's...

Smile. It will make him so jealous to see you're happy without him

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Smile. It will make him so jealous to see you're happy without him

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love

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We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love

You know what I think hurts the most the feeling of being replaced. It's like...

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You know what I think hurts the most the feeling of being replaced. It's like...

If you don't fight for what you want don't cry for what you lost

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If you don't fight for what you want don't cry for what you lost

There's a guy out there who is going to be really happy that you didn't...

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There's a guy out there who is going to be really happy that you didn't...

We should love not fall in love because everything that falls gets broken

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We should love not fall in love because everything that falls gets broken

Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

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Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be....

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And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be....

If another girl ever steals your man there's no better revenge than letting her keep...

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If another girl ever steals your man there's no better revenge than letting her keep...

The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner you'd better...

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Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner you'd better...

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.

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The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.