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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

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Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

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I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination

Stop thinking of fun and have it

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Stop thinking of fun and have it

Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

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Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

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If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

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There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

You have 200. 194. 305 friend requests. I knew this Facebook thing was a bad...

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You have 200. 194. 305 friend requests. I knew this Facebook thing was a bad...

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

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My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.

A witty saying proves nothing

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A witty saying proves nothing

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

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What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

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Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

Strangers think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm out-going. My bestfriends know that I'm completely...

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Strangers think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm out-going. My bestfriends know that I'm completely...

God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

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God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, But I know...

Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status....

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Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status....

What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

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What is Father Christmas' wife called ? Mary Christmas!

A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend.If she doesn't get jealous when someone has your...

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A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend.If she doesn't get jealous when someone has your...

Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning...

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Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning...

I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a...

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I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a...