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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

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Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

I keep myself busy with things to do but everytime I pause I still think...

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I keep myself busy with things to do but everytime I pause I still think...

You will never find the right person if you never let go of the wrong...

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You will never find the right person if you never let go of the wrong...

Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person...

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Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want most is the person...

There were tears in my eyes when she walked away We had plans to get...

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There were tears in my eyes when she walked away We had plans to get...

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love

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We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love

You can break down a woman temporarily but a real woman will always pick up...

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You can break down a woman temporarily but a real woman will always pick up...

If you love someone, tell them. For hearts are often broken by words left unspoken

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If you love someone, tell them. For hearts are often broken by words left unspoken

People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and...

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People change. Feelings change. It doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and...

A good man can feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world... oh...

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A good man can feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world... oh...

I was as born when he kissed me. I died when he left me. I...

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I was as born when he kissed me. I died when he left me. I...

No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care

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No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care