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"How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?" "I'm not...

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

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All I want is to find a guy like Ted who'll love me like Marshall...

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

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Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance but you still catch my eye...

Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

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Come on beautiful pick yourself up and dry your eyes everything will be okay

You know what I think hurts the most the feeling of being replaced. It's like...

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You know what I think hurts the most the feeling of being replaced. It's like...

The scars of your love remind me of us They keep me thinking that we...

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The scars of your love remind me of us They keep me thinking that we...

Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied:...

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Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied:...

There's a guy out there who is going to be really happy that you didn't...

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There's a guy out there who is going to be really happy that you didn't...

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew. All the things...

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Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew. All the things...

I was as born when he kissed me. I died when he left me. I...

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I was as born when he kissed me. I died when he left me. I...

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

I am a sinner ,a liar But where I am and what I do? How...

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I am a sinner ,a liar But where I am and what I do? How...

OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things...

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OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things...