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I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

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I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

It symbolize that she's my property and I own her

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It symbolize that she's my property and I own her

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

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Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

There's more to life than beer, but who cares

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There's more to life than beer, but who cares

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: Send me your mother!

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Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: Send me your mother!

My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found...

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My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never found...

If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

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If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

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Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

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Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is...

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

The world is a stage but the play is badly cast

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The world is a stage but the play is badly cast

No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

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No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

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In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

It's Doctor's Day and I wanna prescribe you a day full of smiles!

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It's Doctor's Day and I wanna prescribe you a day full of smiles!

Here's to good women, May we know them, May we be them, May we raise...

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Here's to good women, May we know them, May we be them, May we raise...